The essay is arranged chronologically. Bridget starts each paragraph with a clear signpost of where we are in time:. I wanted to become a board-certified behavior analyst. It helps that the metaphor is a very clear one: Every childhood Fixer-Upper ever. Ask your parents to explain the back row to you. This essay uses many techniques that make Bridget sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know her. The second technique is the way Bridget coins her own terms, carrying them through the whole essay.
It would be easy enough to simply describe the people she imagined in childhood as helpers or assistants, and to simply say that as a child she wanted to rule the world. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. However, at key moments, Bridget emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.
The last key moment that gets the small-sentence treatment is the emotional crux of the essay. As we watch Bridget go from nervously trying to help disabled students to falling in love with this specialty field, she undercuts the potential sappiness of the moment by relying on changed-up sentence length and slang: The best essays convey emotions just as clearly as this image.
Explain the car connection better. It would be great to either connect this into the essay more, or to take it out altogether and create more space for something else. It would take the focus off of her and possibly read as offensive or condescending.
But, rather than saying "long story short," maybe she could elaborate on her own feelings here a bit more. What is it about this kind of teaching that she loves? What is she hoping to bring to the lives of her future clients?
How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively. Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it. Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.
It can either be very dramatic did you survive a plane crash? Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world. Let me level with you: And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline.
Let it sit for a few days untouched. What is in the wrong place? Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it! Interested in learning more about college essays? Working on the rest of your application?
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Stellar Execution A killer first sentence. Want to build the best possible college application? Download it for free now: Follow us on all 3 of our social networks: Ask a Question Below Have any questions about this article or other topics?
Search the Blog Search. Customize your test prep for maximum results. Want General Expert Advice? Our hand-selected experts help you in a variety of other topics! Looking for Graduate School Test Prep? Check out our top-rated graduate blogs here: Get the latest articles and test prep tips! You have a unique background, interests and personality.
This is your chance to tell your story or at least part of it. The best way to tell your story is to write a personal, thoughtful essay about something that has meaning for you. Be honest and genuine, and your unique qualities will shine through. Admissions officers have to read an unbelievable number of college essays, most of which are forgettable.
Many students try to sound smart rather than sounding like themselves. Colleges are simply looking for thoughtful, motivated students who will add something to the first-year class. It could be an experience, a person, a book—anything that has had an impact on your life. Anyone can write about how they won the big game or the summer they spent in Rome.
When recalling these events, you need to give more than the play-by-play or itinerary. Describe what you learned from the experience and how it changed you. A student who can make an admissions officer laugh never gets lost in the shuffle. At LiveCareer, we live and breathe the belief that we can help people transform their work lives, and so do our contributors.
Our experts come from a variety of backgrounds but have one thing in common: Hi Caroline Ridmen , we hope they will help you as well! Let me share with you more information on College Applications to support your search.
Did you know almost every admissions counselor agrees that a memorable essay does have an impact on the overall application? Here are 10 tips from a college professor on how to succeed with your college application: Skip to primary navigation Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar.
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The college application essay is your chance to show schools who you are. Learn how to write a college essay that sets you apart. Learn how to write a college essay that will set you apart.
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Links to Full College Essay Examples. Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over of these (plus some essay excerpts!). Common App Essay Samples. Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. Need to write a college application essay? Check out these resources and sample essays -- designed to help you write a successful application essay.
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